Roses are red and Violets are blue, but no single day determines my love for you…

         Every year, the calendar turns from the 13th to the 14th of February and people all over fall under a spell. And while from the outside it looks like love is in the air, a closer look reveals that this commercial holiday has become no more than another excuse for chocolate companies to market overpriced sugar. I remember one year I was particularly upset that I hadn’t received a Valentine because that must mean that my special someone didn’t love me. [I know I know first world problem] But her response has forever stuck with me…

         “If he doesn’t show you how much he loves you every day, then the way he treats you on one ‘special’ day doesn’t matter. It proves nothing. You should know every single day how much someone loves you, or you aren’t with the right someone.”

         And that could not be closer to the truth. But on the other hand, you aren’t defined by how much someone is willing to spend on you any time of year. I don’t define how much my boyfriend loves me by the money he spends on flowers that will wilt or candy that goes bad.

         I feel how much he loves me in the way he makes me smile, the little things he remembers about me that I didn’t even think were important, the times he suffers through weird medieval romance shows because they’re my favorite and the promises he makes and keeps to my family. I know he loves me when he tells me he’s proud of me, or that he sees how hard I’m trying when I’m stressed. But most of all… I know how much he loves me when he’s sitting next to the hospital bed AGAIN holding my hand, when he makes the effort that no one else has to grow closer to both of my brothers, and when he lets me pretend to plan for the future knowing that every day to come is unpredictable. So to me, Valentine’s day is no different than any other day of the year. I don’t love him any more than I did yesterday or will tomorrow, just because everyone around us is seeing things through rose-colored glasses.

But if you aren’t with someone, spend the day focusing on YOU. Today is not a day you should spend upset about how no one buys you chocolate… being with the wrong person just to have someone there is never better than focusing on yourself and chasing the life you want to live. Here are a few little ideas my friends and I came up with to celebrate a day about LOVE by loving yourself.

1. Cuddle up in clean pajamas and fuzzy socks and watch a movie!
2. Eat an entire box of 75% off chocolates… cause why not.
3. Have a wine night with your girls! You don’t have to trash talk men all night, but have a few glasses and watch some Iliza Schlesinger on Netflix, if you’ve never heard of her, You’re welcome!
4. Cuddle with your fur baby and give them some extra love! Your dog’s love is unconditional even when you don’t get her roses.
5. Go out to dinner and watch all the awkward couples pretending they know how to go on a date… count how many cell phones there are and you’ll be glad you aren’t one of them.
6. Catch up with an old friend, skype, facetime, call, anything! A few minutes talking to a friend can be all you need sometimes!
7. Have a spa night! Paint those toes, wax those legs, put on a face mask, and light some candles. You’re a god or goddess any day so you might as well treat yourself like it!

         Sure, we all want to wake up to some cute note or little bear that says “I Love You More”, but at the end of the day, it’s just another chance for companies to market the cost of “true love” and if you ask me, it costs too much.

So remember on this day we claim is about love… Love yourself first and the world will follow!

Love always, Me